Breaking Dawn: The Missing Chapter
by jessicakaycobb
Summary: My version of what happened that first night on Isle Esme...ONESHOT. SMUT. You have been warned.


**A/N : Before you read, remember this is SMUT and as such should not be viewed by kiddies! Also, it's canon except for the very beginning, which is only slightly changed. This is for you, Brooke and Pharrah! :D**

**Oh, and I'm not Stephenie Meyer, just so we're clear. FANFICTION, remember?**

* * *

I held the white towel tightly, protectively around myself as I walked toward the water.

I could see Edward, like a half-submerged Grecian statue in the inky black water, facing away from me. My heart stuttered in my chest.

_Deep breaths._

A few more steps and I was standing by the bent palm tree where his clothes where hanging, swaying lightly in the warm breeze. I shivered.

I dragged in a deep breath and tugged at the towel until it came loose. I held it in place for a moment more, then let it drop from my right hand. It was strange, standing under the moon as the warm air hit me and the towel dangled from my left hand. It felt…free.

I draped the towel across the tree with Edward's clothes, then turned my attention back to where he was standing. I knew he must hear me, especially my heart thudding out of control, but he stayed still, his back to me.

I stepped into the water. Edward had been right, it was warm against my toes as I stepped tentatively into the first waves. The moonlight was bright, and the dark water contrasted so much with my white skin that I chuckled nervously. I saw Edward move slightly, but he didn't turn.

It took an amazingly short time to reach where he was standing. Right before I reached him, I saw the stone of his back relax and he moved a few more feet into the water ahead of me. I followed, the water coming up past my waist now, now over my bellybutton, and now, finally, completely covering me with inky black. I relaxed.

"Edward?"

He was treading water now, a few feet ahead of me, and he turned. I'd almost forgotten the power of his eyes while I'd been mesmerized by the rest of him, but now it hit me full force once again. He smiled, tugging one corner of his mouth up in my favorite crooked smile.

He moved forward in the water so he was standing again, directly in front of me. The slope of the ocean floor was so much that our heads were at the same level.

My breath hitched in my chest.

I knew he was going to kiss me; how many times had he kissed me? But always before with the knowledge that kissing was as far as it could go. This kiss held a much higher significance.

His eyes were searching mine, making sure that this was what I wanted. I was unable to tear my eyes away from his; suddenly he seemed satisfied with what he found there and his eyes dropped to my lips. His hand came up slowly to brush my cheek. He pushed my half-soaked hair behind my shoulder and my heart threatened to tear its way out of my chest trying to get to him.

"Bella," he murmured.

Then his lips were on mine and everything else disappeared. I tried to keep my head; I knew that this was going to be difficult for him and I didn't want to give him any reason to back out on me _now_. Not when what I had wanted for so long was finally within my reach.

I _tried _to keep my head clear, but of course it was no use. My hands were in his hair without me giving them permission to be there, dragging themselves through the wet tangled mess; I was pulling myself to him without really realizing it, but the moment our bodies touched, it was like electricity.

"Oh," I gasped as his lips left mine and trailed down my neck. I couldn't think; it was like being electrified slowly in the best way imaginable. His hands were on my back, chafing heat into me as he pulled me closer, if that were even possible.

Then his lips were on mine again, his cool breath washing over me, burning me with ice.

Right about now, under normal circumstances, fully clothed and on my bed at Charlie's, would be where he would gently but firmly pull me away from him, and tell me we had risked my life enough for one night. But this time was different, and both of us knew it.

He _did_ break the kiss, though, to my intense disappointment. His forehead rested on mine, his eyes smoldering just an inch from my own, making their intensity even greater. His breath was coming too fast, and I noticed now that mine was, too.

I tried to pout, but the effect was completely lost when my voice came out much more breathless than I'd intended.

"Why…did…you stop?"

Edward grinned, his perfect, chiseled chest rising and falling quickly, his hands resting heavily on my shoulders. Our bodies were still flush with each other, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist as if I could hold him there with only my poor mortal strength.

"We're supposed to be swimming," he teased.

I growled. Edward chuckled.

"I wondered," he mused, still breathless as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "Would you like to go inside? It might be more…comfortable."

I laughed. "Will you be with me?"

It was Edward's turn to growl, but not in annoyance. He bent his head to kiss me again, not as forcefully as before, but still enough to knock me off my feet. Literally. The wave that came along at just that moment disturbed my already dubious balance and I lost my footing. Edward wrapped a long arm around my waist and pulled me more fully into his arms.

It wasn't until he had towed me a few paces and the water began to recede that I even noticed that he was heading out of the water. He never broke our kiss as he swept me up in his arms again, just like he had when he'd carried me across the threshold earlier.

I barely noticed making it into the house, whether because I was so wrapped up in him or because he had moved so fast that it really _had_ only been a few seconds since we'd left the water.

He finally broke the kiss as he laid me on the big bed, and for the first time since leaving my towel on the beach, I began to feel self-conscious. I felt the heat of my blush on my cheeks as he pulled back from me; I knew this part had been coming, but I had hoped it would have come later, or at least that I could have gotten over my stupid stage-fright feeling by this point.

His eyes didn't leave mine for a long moment, and I knew that he could tell, even without the luxury of being able to read my mind, that this was the main thing I had been nervous about. Well, it ranked pretty high up there on the list, anyway.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them again, he was still gazing into my face. I smiled. He smiled back, and then brought his lips back to mine again, a slow, mind-fogging kiss that completely distracted me from whatever it was I had been thinking a few seconds before.

When he pulled away again, he wrenched his eyes away from mine and dropped them. I squirmed a little under his gaze, but the look of awe on his face was worth it.

"Beautiful," he breathed, and then his mouth was crashing down on mine again.

I was braver now, bolstered by the knowledge that he had seen me, truly _seen me_, and still approved and wanted this with me. I kissed him back hungrily, pulling his scent through my nostrils and feeling every inch of his cool marble skin against every inch of mine. There was nothing better than this, _nothing_.

Suddenly I realized that he was moving, beginning to position himself above me, and I almost passed out. I clutched at his back and pulled my mouth away from his to try to breathe properly. He froze.

"Bella?"

I trailed kisses along his shoulder, hoping that he wouldn't notice the panic attack I was on the verge of having at the thought of actually going through with this. He wasn't exactly fooled.

"We can stop…if you like. We don't have to do this right now. We have…forever," he whispered into my hair. The last word resonated within my soul and calmed my breathing immediately. _Forever._

"No, please, don't stop. I'm fine," I promised. I reached up and kissed him along his jaw and up to his mouth, just to prove it. He relaxed, just a bit, as he humored me a moment and kissed me back.

"You're sure?" he asked softly a moment later, and I growled in impatience. He smiled at that.

Then he bent his head to kiss my neck again, not moving the rest of his body from where he had frozen half in the act of moving over me. I tried to be subtle as I moved my legs to try and get him where I wanted him, but he noticed and held me steady.

"Bella," he protested. "I promised you that we would do this, but you really have to stop being so tempting. I can't lose my control, even for a second." His golden eyes bored into mine and I understood. But instead of a feeling of chagrin, or even fear, as I knew I should have after this near-scolding, his words burned me up from within and set the fire burning out of control.

The next moment he was kissing me again, and I didn't even notice he had moved exactly where I had wanted him until he stopped and rested his forehead on mine again. I met his gaze without faltering. I wasn't afraid anymore. I wanted this more than anything I'd ever wanted. I wanted _him_.

His eyes never left mine as he eased forward carefully. After the initial contact, I felt the building pressure, and tried to brace myself. After all, I knew the mechanics well enough to know it was going to get worse before it got better. I closed my eyes and held my breath.

When he stopped suddenly, I wanted to scream with impatience.

"You'll tell me if I'm hurting you?"

"Edward! I swear, I'm going to explode into a thousand tiny little pieces if you don't stop driving me crazy and just get _on_ with it already! Besides, this part is probably going to hurt, regardless, so let's just get it over with," I added, trying to soften the tone of my voice. I opened my eyes to look at him. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be deciding something.

"Please," I begged. "I'll tell you if it gets too bad, I swear, Edward. Please don't stop. Please?"

He sighed and opened his eyes. I smiled. "Please," I repeated. "If you love me, please."

That seemed to do it. I knew that later I might feel guilty for pulling the "if you love me" card, but for now, if it got me what I wanted, then…

He closed his eyes and I braced myself again, either for the unimaginable pain of him pulling away from me, determined not to hurt me physically, or for the entirely different sort of pain that I so desperately wanted right now.

To my surprise, the pressure began building again. A moment later, the pressure began to truly become painful as he pushed himself inside me; I felt like I was stretching impossibly and I focused all my energy on remaining perfectly still, even though my body wanted to pull away from the discomfort.

Then, when it had become so much that I thought surely I must have been out of my mind to want this - who would _want_ this pain? - it suddenly got _worse_, then began to slowly ebb away. I could think again, I could breathe again, and I remembered Edward. My eyes shot open.

He was watching me intently, waiting for me to shove him away and go screaming into the night, probably. I tried to smile.

"Are you all right?" he asked me, his lovely velvet voice strained and rough, if velvet could ever be described as rough. He brushed my cheek with his hand gently.

"Yes." It actually was only a half-lie. I hadn't been all right a moment before, and I wasn't really exactly all right yet, but the worst was behind me and I knew it could only get better now. "I'm all _right_, Edward," I murmured gently, touching the side of his face with my hand, stroking his hair.

The pain in his eyes seemed to subside even as the pain in my body did. He smiled slightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Then he bent to kiss me again.

Now that the mind-numbing pain part was over, I began to realize that this might not be so bad, after all. I mean, really, kissing Edward, even though it was the most wonderful thing in the history of the universe, I still felt like he wasn't _close_ enough to me, somehow. Right now we couldn't be closer if you welded our bodies together. Which was probably in danger of happening, the way I was pulling him to me.

Suddenly, I became aware that he was pulling away from me slowly, and I made a small sound of protest against his lips, not wanting this to be over. But then he was pushing back into me and I almost passed out when the sensations overtook me and I realized he wasn't stopping, he was just beginning.

He groaned into my mouth and braced his hands on either side of my head, breaking the kiss and pushing up so he was hovering above me and he could push us closer together where we were connected.

Slowly, he eased out and then back in, watching my face to make sure that I was no longer in any pain. When he was satisfied that I was feeling _anything _but pain now, he began to pick up his pace, finding a slow rhythm as he pushed into me again and again.

His face was incredible. His expression was indescribable; his lips were parted and his eyes were locked onto mine as if they were riveted there. His breath, like mine, was coming in hard, quick little gasps in time with the rhythm of our bodies.

I was sure I should be taking in the perfect contours of his chest and the beautiful cords of muscle in his arms that stood out under his marble skin, that I should be memorizing the rise and fall of his chest and the way his stomach muscles looked as they worked to help him move, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from the golden liquid fire in his eyes.

"I love you," he whispered, bending to kiss me again.

"I love you, Edward," I gasped, wrapping my arms around his neck as he kissed along my jawline. This, _this_, was worth dying for. If something happened now, and I either a., went into cardiac arrest because my heart wouldn't stop hammering away, fast and furious, in my chest; or b., Edward's control slipped and he accidentally killed me; I could die happy. Nothing could ever be better than this.

I was wrong.

Edward growled, gripping one of my arms tightly with one hand and the headboard with the other, pushing into me with more fervor now, and my eyes rolled back into my head with the sheer pleasure of it. Had I just been thinking that nothing could be better? Really?

Because now I felt an entirely different sort of pressure, pulling my entire body tight like the string on a violin; it was spreading through me and had me meeting him thrust for thrust, pushing, searching for…what? I had no idea, but I knew I had to reach it.

I wanted him to hold me tighter, to pull me closer to him. He seemed to know that's what I wanted, because he snaked one arm behind my back and pulled me up so I was closer to him; I wrapped my arms around his back and neck, and let my head loll back. Whatever it was I was pushing towards, I was almost there…

And Edward seemed to sense it. He was still bracing himself on the headboard, thrusting harder and faster, pushing me closer and closer until…

I exploded. Fire washed through every nerve ending in my body, and I screamed with the force of it. I half expected him to stop, to think he was hurting me, but he seemed to understand that I was simply a star imploding on itself in that moment. I clutched at him and buried my face in his neck, pulling at his hair as if it could somehow ground me to him as I shot through space.

My mind slowly came back alive and I realized he had lowered me back to the pillows carefully, dropping feathery little kisses on my cheeks, my eyelids, my forehead as I came down from my high. I opened my eyes slowly and gazed at him in wonder.

"Bella?" he asked softly. "Are you all right?"

I mumbled something he couldn't hear, really probably unable of coherent thought just then. His eyebrows knitted together.

"What?"

"I said, 'why do you have to be so good at everything'?" I repeated, trying to sound sullen, but completely ruining the effect because my voice came out so thin and airy. His expression cleared and he dropped his head and chuckled into my collarbone.

His chuckling stopped suddenly, and he began to kiss my neck once more; I wasn't even sure my body was capable of handling any more at this point, but he soon proved me wrong. The fire inside me was still there, quenched, but there was still an ember deep within that glowed. Edward knew how to bring it back to life.

Again and again he brought me to the edge of sanity, and again and again I crashed over onto the other side with such force as I didn't know could exist. Soon it seemed as if I had been exploding and imploding for hours, dimly aware that somehow a pillow beside me had been split open and feathers were drifting around us.

Edward's eyes bored into mine as once more he increased the tempo of his movements, and this time I could tell that something was different. His expression became more intense and focused - if that were even possible - this time. His hands were braced on either side of me and he lowered his face so it was inches from mine.

I began to meet his hips with my own, thrust for thrust, trying to help him reach the level of ecstasy he'd driven me to again and again, desperate to return the favor.

He dropped his lips to mine and kissed me hungrily, mouth open, sweeping his tongue over mine in rhythm with our thrusting. My mind fogged again as his cold, sweet breath seemed to permeate every fiber of my being and drag me under in something akin to a drug-induced stupor.

It didn't stop me from writhing under him and clawing at every inch of skin I could reach, though. He probably couldn't feel my nails as they glanced across his diamond skin, and I probably couldn't have stopped myself anyway.

"Edward," I gasped as his thrusts became faster still. I moaned into his shoulder, a low, animal-like sound that I barely registered as coming from me.

He groaned. His body tensed above me and I knew, instinctively, that he was close. I trailed kisses down his neck and over his jaw, working my way closer to his mouth.

"Bella," he grunted against my lips, and his body jerked violently above me, sending me over the edge with him, locking my legs around him to hold him there, screaming with him as we both exploded together.

Fire and ice. A single star imploding in space. Edward and I.

Seconds or hours later, I couldn't tell which, he was dropping soft kisses on my shoulder, and I suddenly realized he was lying beside me. My body seemed to ache with the loss of contact. I moaned.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he murmured into my hair as he pulled me into his arms. His voice caught a bit in the middle of his request and it made me smile.

"That you're amazing," I replied breathlessly. Abruptly, I was tired beyond all reason. Already it was becoming difficult to keep my eyelids open. He chuckled and trailed his nose along my neck, causing goose bumps to rise on my arms.

"I love you," he stated, the note of smugness barely detectable under the sincere tenor of his words. "_You're _amazing," he added, snuggling his face into my collarbone.

"Hmph," I muttered, unimpressed. "You stole my line," I complained ineffectively, the completely sated feeling in my abdomen coloring my intended protest and making it come out rather flat. I felt his grin rather than seeing it, as my eyes were closed and his face was still at my neck.

"Go to sleep, Bella," he instructed, and I couldn't help but comply.

I let the exhaustion wash over me in waves even as the ocean waves outside our window lulled me to sleep in the strong, marble arms of my destiny.


End file.
